day 36 (random thoughts that started in lander, WY)

porque?

because it's just riding all day.
because of the voices that compete in my head. keep going. tough it out. stop. just quit already.
because it feels so amazingly good to stretch the burning sensation out of my legs.
because i've told so many people.
because so many of those people tell me to keep pedaling.
because i like numbers.
because so many others ride even more miles.

because i don't like to fail.
because it's ok sometimes to ask for help.
because the loneliness makes me appreciate all of them even more.
because my students looked at me like i was crazy.
because my students asked if they could ride with me which makes them crazy too.
because i like taking pictures with my yellow bike.
because that 60 year old was climbing without any hint of struggle.

because i can fly down a pass for 30 minutes without pedaling once.
because so many think it is impossible.
because i hate driving a car.
because those strangers took my picture and shook my hand.
because they gave me money and i started a blog.
because when i was young, i would wander miles from my house on my bike.
because i want to be close to nature.

because i like analyzing maps as i lay under hundreds of stars in my tent.
because my dad rides a bike.
because it feels so good to finally get off your saddle.
because i didn't want to watch tv all day.
because so much happens and time just moves along.
because i want to be closer to me.
because some thoughts have haunted me for too long.

because my brother used to pick me up from school on his bike.
because some emotions just spill out on the road.
because i miss him so much.
because i get to see my family again very soon.
because when i hold her again, my love for her feels like that first time.
because this part of my life needed closure.
because i live for these moments.

because i can.